What a small business taught me about commitment, sacrifice, and choosing what matters most
One afternoon over lunch, I was sharing with a friend the challenges and lessons I was experiencing as a co-owner of a small food retail business that specialized in cheesecakes, special pastries and strong coffee.
After listening patiently, she smiled and said, “Treat it like you invested in an intense post-graduate education.”
At first, I laughed. But the more I reflected on her comment, the more I realized how true it was.
The difference was that instead of attending lectures and completing assignments, we were running a business that employed a team of 12 people and operated 12 hours a day, almost every day of the year, in one of Singapore’s busiest shopping malls along Orchard road.
With no prior experience in owning or operating a food retail business, the learning curve was steep. Yet looking back, the most valuable lessons had little to do with coffee, retail, or business operations.
They were lessons about commitment. And ultimately, about crossroads.
The Crossroads Behind Every Commitment
Most of us recognize the moment of decision like
- Choosing a career
- Starting a business
- Accepting a promotion
- Entering a partnership
- Making a major life change
What we often fail to recognize is that every decision is followed by a commitment. And every commitment comes with a cost.
One of my favorite authors, Rick Warren, writes: “Every decision has a price tag.”
Over time, I discovered just how true that statement is. When we evaluate an opportunity, we tend to focus on what we stand to gain. But we often underestimate what we may need to give up.
The question is not simply: “Can I do this?” The deeper question is: “Am I willing to pay the price that comes with it?”
A Framework for Navigating Crossroads
Through this experience, I began reflecting on what I now call the CROSSROADS framework.
When facing an important commitment, consider these questions:
C — Clarity: What do I truly want?
R — Reality: What are the actual demands and expectations?
O — Options: What alternatives am I not considering?
S — Stakes: What could I gain—and what might I lose?
S — Self: Who will I become if I choose this path?
R — Risk: What risks am I willing to accept?
O — Others: How will this affect the people who matter most?
A — Alignment: Does this align with my values and priorities?
D — Decision: What choice am I prepared to own?
S — Step Forward: What action should I take next?
As I reflected on my business journey, two insights became increasingly clear.
Lesson One: Count the Hidden Costs
Most people calculate the financial investment required for a business. Far fewer calculate the emotional, relational, and personal investments. For me, the most significant costs were not financial. They involved:
- Time away from family and community
- Energy required to sustain the business
- Relationships impacted by the demands of entrepreneurship
- Decisions that challenged my personal values
- The reality that business ownership rarely switches off
The food retail industry especially highlighted this reality. Weekends and holidays—times traditionally reserved for rest and family—were often our busiest periods. As someone who deeply values relationships and community, I found this difficult.
The experience taught me that before saying “yes” to any commitment, we must carefully weigh the hidden costs, not just the visible ones.
What drains us is rarely the investment we expected to make. It is often the investment we never considered.
Lesson Two: Experience Is a Teacher Like No Other
I entered the business with corporate experience, training, mentors, and a strong support network. All of these were valuable. But none could replace experience.
At one point, I immersed myself fully in the operations. I worked full shifts, certified for food handling, completed a barista course, prepared coffee, served customers, cleaned the shop, managed the crew, performed the cashier and supply chain functions.
I made mistakes, got frustrated many times, and tried to improve. Through those experiences, I gained a far deeper appreciation for customer service, product quality, food retail operations, and leadership than any book could have taught me.
I also had the privilege of leading a multi-generational team. Those relationships became one of the most rewarding parts of the journey. Mentoring younger team members, understanding different motivations, and helping people grow reminded me that businesses are ultimately about people.
Robert Frost once wrote: “The best way out is always through.”
Some lessons can only be learned by walking through the experience itself.
The Real Question
There were moments when the pressures felt overwhelming. Moments when I asked myself:
“Do the benefits truly outweigh the costs? Is it worth continuing?”
These were not merely business questions. They were life questions – questions of purpose, of values, and of alignment.
Perhaps that is what every crossroads eventually becomes. It’s not a question of success, but a question of significance. It’s not simply what we will achieve, but who we will become.
Reflection Points
If you are standing at a crossroads today, consider:
- What commitment am I considering right now?
- What hidden costs might I be overlooking?
- Which cost concerns me most—time, money, energy, or relationships?
- Does this opportunity align with my current season of life?
- What experience or growth might I miss if I choose not to pursue it?
- Looking back five years from now, what decision would I be proud to have made?
At the Crossroads
Every meaningful commitment carries a price tag. The goal is not to avoid paying a price. The goal is to ensure the investment aligns with what matters most.
Life’s defining moments are rarely free. Every crossroads asks us what we are willing to invest—and who we are willing to become. And that may be the most important decision of all.